The idea of values can seem pretty basic and straightforward at first glance, but after spending years studying and doing values work in my therapy and consulting practice, I can confidently say that there is far more to values work than what meets the eye.

Knowing your values isn’t just being able to rattle off the basic list of values that everyone names, like love, family, and honesty, when asked. 

True values work consists of intentionally assessing and utilizing your values as your basis of self reflection and decision making. Do you ever feel pulled in multiple directions and overwhelmed by your priorities and responsibilities?  I know I have, especially prior to doing values work.  Exploring your values can relieve the tension of feeling like you “can’t win for losing”; and I love helping people work through this.

I first learned about values work when I began studying and offering Acceptance and Commitment Therapy in my practice years ago, and it has deeply enriched my life personally, not to mention the powerful transformations I’ve seen in my patients. 

I’m excited to share a glimpse into the work I do with my patients and clients and offer you the same tool I use with them to help them identify and live the life of their dreams.

What Really Matters: How The Values of a Leader Shape a Life of Fulfillment and Ease

We live in a world that teaches us to chase outcomes.
Success. Recognition. Control.
But few of us were ever taught to name what we truly value, and even fewer were taught how to live from that foundation.

For high-achieving Black women, values-based living isn’t just a nice idea. It’s the difference between running on empty and moving through life with ease, alignment, and a deeper sense of meaning.

When your choices reflect your true values—not just responsibilities and expectations—you begin to build a life that feels like your own. That’s what values work is about.

Values work is not a wellness trend or cursory therapy exercise. It’s far more than that.
It’s a return. A return to who you are when you’re not performing or proving anything.
A return to what anchors you in the depths of your soul.
A return to not only how you want to live but it’s the blueprint and hard wiring for how you can thrive.

Identifying and then living out your values is deeply spiritual. It’s how we get to operating within our purpose, our calling, our zones of genius.

Living in alignment with what we value most
transforms our striving into thriving.
-Dr. Iman Hypolite | Soft Life MD

Why The Values of A Leader Matter More Than Ever

In a world where kindness, decency, laws, and the value of human life are seemingly up for debate, reflecting on how Black women leaders move, live and lead has never been more critical.

Your values are the internal compass guiding your decisions, relationships, and habits and the overall impact you make professionally and personally, even when you’re not conscious of it.

When your life aligns with your values, there’s more impact and ease. 
When your values are ignored, dismissed, or compromised, both internal and interpersonal friction often shows up, both professionally and personally.  And that can be costly in more ways than one.

This friction might look like irritability (the quality of being easily frustrated, annoyed, or overwhelmed), exhaustion, guilt, or a subtle sense of feeling “off”. In other words, we get triggered.  That’s not weakness. That’s wisdom asking to be heard.

Living in alignment with your values also protects you from the slow drift into performative living. It keeps you from operating on autopilot in roles that look good on paper but leave you hollow inside.

When you return to your values, you begin to move with intentionality and effortlessness, not performance and fatigue.

The Values of A Leader:  What Anchors You

Below is a list of commonly held values of a leader that may resonate with you.

To get the most out of this, let’s pause for a moment of inner reflection.

I encourage you to slowly read through this list of values.

Notice what they bring up for you as you read through them.

Which ones feel soothing, familiar, triggering, inspiring, and/or energizing.
 
The feelings these values bring up for you are important data points that indicate what’s deeply aligned as well as incompatible with who you are and who you are meant to be. 

Take note of these.  These are not just fleeting ideas, these are clues to unlocking the life that you have been quietly longing for, your becoming.

Identifying you values can help you name what you’ve always known and how you’re meant to live.

List of Commonly Held Values

When Values Are Challenged

Sometimes, your values will come into tension with your roles, relationships, or environment.

Here are a few examples:

• You value family and connection but you have an extremely demanding career that results in your working long hours.
  
• You value autonomy and creativity but you also value financial stability; and the unpredictability and risk of entrepreneurship compared to employment creates friction.
• You value honesty and authenticity, but your family rewards politeness and respectability over truth.
  
• You crave connection, but you have loved ones who are incapable of respecting the boundaries you need to be fully yourself and feel at ease in your relationship with them.
  
• You’re committed to balance, but many seasons have required more than you had to give.

These examples of friction don’t indicate deficits or failure on your part.

They’re invitations. To pause. To reflect. To adjust.

To ask: Am I living in alignment with what matters most to me?tions. To pause. To reflect. To adjust.

To ask: Am I living in alignment with what matters most to me?

How to Begin Living Out Your Values

Values in action aren’t about perfection. 

It’s about alignment.

It’s small choices, made consistently, that move you toward a life of fulfillment and ease.
It’s being thoughtful about your yeses: saying yes to what matters most in a given moment or season of life.
It’s also saying no to what doesn’t serve you well and to who or what isn’t aligned.

This is the beginning of softening the inner grip resulting from the stress of living a life you were not called to live and stepping into the one you were created to live. 

Not all of a sudden, but one step at a time. 
No rush. No overwhelm.  Just peace and ease.

This is what is meant by becoming.
This is what I mean by the soft life.
This is genuine self love.

Ready to Get Clear on What Matters to You?

If you’re curious about what your core values are, or how they’ve been ordering your steps, and maybe even how they have been pointing you towards making some shifts, here is your opportunity to take a step closer to living a softer life of greater ease and fulfillment.  I spend countless hours helping high performing women identify and live out their values and it brings me unspeakable joy to witness the resulting ripple effect of this intentional and invaluable work.

I first learned about values work when I studied and began practicing Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT), one of the primary forms of therapy that I use with my patients because it yields healing and transformation faster and in more tangible ways than many other forms of therapy.

I have used a variety of the tools available from values list pdf to online values exercise in my values work with patients and consulting clients, and they all fell short; so I did what I do best:  I created my own!!! 

I’m extremely proud of and excited about it.

My values reflection tool was created with you, and me, in mind.
It’s thoughtfully tailored to high-functioning women who are called and ready to live more intentionally.

It’s free, and it’s a simple way to get more clarity, simplicity, and fulfillment in your life!
So what are you waiting for?

Are You Ready To Identify and Start Living Out Your Values?

Want to connect with Dr. Hypolite?

For her transformative work helping high achieving women overcome high functioning depression, high functioning anxiety, and burnout,
Request Your Consultation today!

For a collection of resources thoughtfully curated by Dr. Hypolite and
designed to enhance the quality of life of high performing women, click here.